Recently I have been hearing a lot about my ex's recent exploits, and they are not pretty. One of his friends contacted me asking if I thought that he was a good person and she let me know of all the stuff that has been going on with him. I didn't know any of this until a day or two ago because I am not in contact with him at all any more. Since I have learned all of this stuff that he has been doing (whether it is true or not) I felt really responsible for all of the bad stuff that has been happening in his life. Over the last couple days it has been a real burden on me. I was trying to think of anything that I could do to help him realize that his life doesn't have to be like this. After thinking about it for a while I decided to buy a book that has helped me out a lot and send it to him anonymously in the hope that he would read it and reconsider some of the decisions he is making in his life. I bought the book yesterday and decided to leave it in his mailbox, maybe with a few bible verses on the inside just as a reminder of what he is missing in his life without Jesus.
Today when I was in the car with my mom and sister coming home from church, my sister mentioned the book that I was planning on giving to my ex. She explained that she was thinking about buying the same book for one of her friends. In that moment God spoke to my heart. It felt like He was telling me that my ex's future wasn't in my power to change, and that I should leave it in His capable hands. It is not my responsibility to take care of him or lead him in the right path no matter how much I feel like it may be. I can't change anyone, change can only be done on a personal level with the help of Jesus Christ. In time I hope that my ex will change for the better, but that is up to him and not me. In the end I told my sister that she could take the book I ordered and give it to her friend because I wouldn't need it any longer. I felt that giving him the book would be taking responsibility for him and I am not going to do that any longer.
In the end all you can do is love others and hope and pray for God's will to be done, because He is the ultimate drive for change.